lucygraywoolff

January 29, 2011

Bent Coppers, courts, charlatans and the like in Edinburgh

Filed under: one and all — lucygraywoolff @ 7:21 pm

Is this to be my bane

In my unlucky life,

To own to despair and strife.

From (not only) an irish dwarf

A real pain.

But also a dublin copper

A couple of real stinking

Blinking

Rotters.

Bloody Sunday

Ain’t got a look in,

When they bay

For my blood.

My name is now mud

With these two….’minds’

Like a midden bin.

What rare finds

Their mothers ought to have strangled

Mangled

Them both

At birth.

I loathe

To mention names

Cos I’ll be [court] blamed.

Why do they come over here …sour bastards …own to no mirth.

(Nor intelligence, neither)

Theyre both a walking sin

Foeteses ought to have been binned.

Copyright held @ lgw2010

 

Ode to Psychological Scarring and Shaymas Blarneystane

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: , — lucygraywoolff @ 6:54 pm

He [the leprechaun] dared to take me to court.

Played me to the hounds,

Like live bait –  Nay sport!

But I’m bound

To court

My precious freedom,

Och, to hell

Will definitely kiss and tell

All.

Oh I will be sure to enthral

The papers and press

And his bent lawyers

With it all.

He left a mess

In his wake

And I won’t hesitate

To break

The uneducated dubliner.

With the greasy Ronan Keating hair.

See him dare

Try for another lawyer.

Copyright held @ lgw 2010

January 18, 2011

Shaymas Blarneystane, oor wee man aboot Edinburgh toon

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: — lucygraywoolff @ 6:41 pm

Awww the pair little love,

Calls himself the above.

He thinks it sexy……fits his wee frame,

Like a proverbial glove.

Cos he just don’t like the name

Gies him a passel worth deal of shame.

Sure and begorrah & bejabers he don’t love

No sirree he dont dig

Being  christened J**n A*******y

The li’l Stig

Of the Dump

Took the hump.

His drunken ma

Slurred to his tinker pa

Wot about film star Alan Ladd

Now he was shair an awfy bad

lad

I’m sure glad

He’s now dead,

Cos I’d jump his bones

If  Dublin’s not so fair a city

Didn’t throw stones.

At oor shite family!

Tar and feather

Nay matter the weather.

Lets name him Shaymas

Irish Gaelic

Sure do pick

them.

copyright@lgw2011

January 15, 2011

SHAYMAS BLARNEYSTANE AND HIS ODE TO A DISCLAIMER ON CONFIDENTIALITY

This is all mine,

(Your information,)

And mine alone.

Not yours

Not thine.

But mine!

My station

In life

Is,  that I own

You.

And your intimacies too.

Stop beefing

Cease moaning.

I do the cranking

Up

And wanking

And groaning

And boning.

(when I can find it)

Around here.

Steer clear

Of me.

You are not a woman

But a walking pair of tits.

You see

My [miniscule] ‘bone’

Of contention

Is no-one takes me serious

I don’t bend to convention

You can’t mention

My intention

To download material

To tape

And to mind rape

I have the best lawyers in the world

Your secrets will all be unfurled.

My psychological scarring

Is uncurled

Barring

None.

I birled

And whirled

Her bright

Brain

And white

Integrity

Cos I’m a D****n shite

I did drain

In the main.

I aim

To get far

With the FUHCP

Or fuck-ups

I fondle term them.

Every one  MEN

They be

So very fond of l’il old me!

Copyright held @ & owned lgw2011

January 14, 2011

ODE TO HUMAN RIGHTS FOR ALL THE PERSONAGES IN EDINBURGH

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: — lucygraywoolff @ 6:36 pm

Human Rights are the rights to live freely, speak your mind and to live your life freely….its the rights you expect to own to have to be treated like a human…human rights are the only ones that apply to absolutely everyone, everywhere…………….all have the exact same human rights…………..in other words they’re universal. 30 basic human rights is a universal declaration of human rights and the most widely documented paper on Human Rights……..the first one being to own to legal representation in both civil and criminal courts; n0twithstanding.

Ode to the Scottish Police

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: — lucygraywoolff @ 5:18 pm

Sign it, pretty plez

NO!

Sign it, we beg of you

NO!

Away

Today

& stew

Your balls.

Sign it, cos we calls

The shots.

Or else…..

Or else….what?

WE got

You bang to rights.

Yes, Shawn Breckinridge

Is an obnoxious Rumpelstiltskin shite

Wi a mind like a fridge.

But he beat you

Bang to [wrongs] rights.

Had a bent lawyer

You silly mare.

Dont gie us that awful stare

Or us two

We’ll scare

The living daylights

Out of you.

No!

He did show

Me his wee willy.

He owns to no Degree

A right wee no willy

Uneducated silly!

Well off to jail

With you. my lass.

Ye’ll no grass.

Do I no get bail?

Copyright held @ & by lgw 2011

January 8, 2011

Persona Non Grata

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: — lucygraywoolff @ 5:15 pm

Diary of Shaymas Blarneystone of D**lry

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: — lucygraywoolff @ 5:09 pm

Christ I’m bored.

Thought I’d have scored

By now.

With this voluptuous cow.

Yeah, I know I’m a crank.

My training is rank

Non  existent.

Wish she’d hurry up bleating,

In a mo I’ll gie her a shout.

Time’s up

You mucky sexy pup.

The tape’s running out.

Have to get to Greggs

To scrounge & to begs

My late breakfast.

Then I’ve got important meeting

@ the F***ing H**d-ons C**ts & Prossies.

Hope the rossies

Don’t raid us.

I cuss

Those who near discover what I;m doing

And interfere

My ride last night didn’t even last

The pace.

I barely nearly ever scored.

Desperate for a surreptitious wank.

She’ll never know from my face!

I come from a cunning & uneducated race

Who think they are ace.

Cover muck wi bits of tatty lace.

Owt to save face.

Copyright held @lgw2011

January 6, 2011

Persona Non Grata

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: — lucygraywoolff @ 8:33 pm

From 2005 to 2010

The tiniest of  irish men

Who owned to an evil sprite

Took his nasty spite

Out on her.

Now he

Had become a burr

In her side.

She was definitely becoming persona non grata.

Even the police treated her

Like a whipped, cowed cur.

They even owned to the balls and fiddled

Through and rifling her personal, private data.

He took out the sharpened knives

Never realising she owned to 7 lives.

Now she was the cat……he the small, brown mouse.

Copyright held @ owned by lgw2010

January 5, 2011

Diary of a Past Life with Shaymas Blarneystane

Filed under: treading a fine line — Tags: , — lucygraywoolff @ 7:08 pm

He fill(s) ed their life

With unforgettable,

Unforgivable strife.

Twisted a secreted,

Samurai knife,

Till it bled.

Clotted deep red.

Meted

Out the [abusive] counter transference.

His dark [nightmare] landscape life.

Was instilled,

And filled

Draped

With undeniable muck and filth.

See cos he’d been gang raped

Made wild life (un) merry

In deepest County Kerry.

‘Twas no bowl of cherries

With his drunken pa

And sozzled, beer swilling ma.

He ferries

To the shebeen.

Married

(in name only) to escape his madness,

Carried

To yet every corner of his psyche

Was filled chock to the brim with sadness.

His veins

Were injected with unadulterated badness.

As he d been made to pay,

He’d make sure he had HIS say.

Doesn’t reins

In

Stamp his little mark.

Bite and snip and nark.

Snigger, sneer.

Lecher, leer.

Jibe and jeer.

Snap & bark.

Rile & cark.

He’s a walking sin

Bin.

What an all-time wheeze, a lark,

Jacking

Smacking his oversized rubber lips.

He sips

His oversized [stolen] cappuccino,

Ready to up & at ’em……go!!!!

Copyright & ownership held @ lgw2011

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